Top 5 Pet Peeves I just need to scream about

#5. People who say "Baffroom" instead of "Bathroom"

#4. People who drink " EXPRESSO" IT'S not Expresso it's Espresso.

#3. People who say "Bofe" instead of "Both" as in "Use Bofe Hands"

#2. People that use the phrase "No what I'm Sayin" or " Ya feel me?" constantly during a conversation.

#1. People Who "AXE" me Questions. It's "ASK" " ASK" ASK" for Christ sake the word is "ASK"

Debbie is getting worse. Every night she seems to lose a little bit more of her self. Her mind is not working right. She has all the classic signs of dementia. It is happening so fast. The lack of O2 must be wreaking havoc on her brain cells. I am at my wits end. I do not know how to handle this. I try not to get angry but I Get no sleep. My whole life is consumed with fear of what is going to happen next. "Oh Lord I'm not ready for this sort of Thing" I want my wife back. I want my Life Back. I don't want to die like this. But Death almost seems a welcome Relief right now.

Decending Rapidly into the "NyQuil Blues"

This just has not been a good week. I noticed Monday that Debbie had a cough developing. By Wednesday she appeared to have a really bad cold. She took some
"NyQuil" Gel caps and went to bed. About 1 am she awoke with terrible breathing problems. I knew immediately that she had pneumonia again. So I called an ambulance and off we went to the ER. We arrived about 1:45am. After the routine oxygen and chest x-rays and all that I heard the doctor say that he was sending her for a CT scan. I assumed that he meant on her lungs. After about an hour I went out for a cup of coffee and to my surprise found that they had removed all the coffee machines from the hospital. What were they thinking? Any way after a while I heard my name over the paging system. I returned to the ER and the Doctor said that they had done a CT of her brain and that it showed some definite shrinking of the blood vessels and veins. This was probably because her O2 sats were only 84. When she put the oxygen hose on they went up to a proper 98. He therefore admitted her to the hospital. He said that she had a little pneumonia in the base of her lungs and with the low O2 she was in danger of a stroke or heart attack. He said that he wanted to do an MRI. It was now about 4:am and there wasn't anything I could do there and if I didn't get some rest I was not going to be of any use to her when she did come home so I left for home and tried to get some sleep, Yea right, like I could sleep. I was afraid that if I took an ambien I would sleep all day and miss a phone call or something so I just laid there with my eyes closed till about 8:am.

I returned to the hospital about 10:am to find that they had not moved her to a regular room yet and that they decided not to do an MRI but did a second CT scan instead. Now I am being told that both CT scans were normal. This dose not jive with what the first ER doctor on the graveyard shift said. Trying to get a straight answer from any one in a situation like this is like pulling teeth. One shift does not know what the previous shift said or did. It is crazyness. So now she is at home on home oxygen. They delivered aa O2 concentrator that makes pure O2 from the room air and 5 portable tanks for when she leaves the hous. Trouble is that the tanks are to big to carry on her mobility scooter. I have to contact her doctor to obtain a presciption for the smaller unit that can be worn over the shoulder or hung on the back rest of her scooter.

Trying to sleep in the same room with an oxygen conentrator is difficult because it makes this odd sound that I can only describe as "Darth Vader" Breathing.
Oh yea the night she took the NyQuil she had also taken an ativan and later 4 tsp of Robitussin with codeine so she was also over medicated. Reminds me of a song that my band and I used to do.

NyQuil Blues
---------------------------------

Give me a bottle of NyQuil
That restful sleep my body needs
I said give me a bottle of NyQuil
That restful sleep my Body needs
With it analgesic decongestants
and them antihistamines.

Boycott Dollar Tree Stores

I will No longer shop at the "Dollar Tree" store for the following reason.
On March 29th 2006 a girl named Tameka was murdered at her job at our local Dollar Tree. Tameka was the mother of a 9 year old boy and was childs sole support. I read in Fridays paper that the Insurance company for the Dollar tree is denying workers comp. Death benefits that are due the minor child. These benefits amount to $224 a week till age 18 or a total of approx. $81,000. This amount is a drop in the bucket for the ins. co. and the Dollar Tree. Their reason for denial is that the murder was racially motivated. What difference does the motivation have to do with anything? She was on the job, killed at work end of story. She did not know her attacker it was not a personal attack. According to the paper he claimed that he entered the store and killed a woman because she was black. Why would anyone admit to this knowing that it would bring about a hate crime enhancement? I think that the Insurance co. Is just plain looking for an out. Please join me in Boycotting the "Dollar Tree" stores until they do the right thing and pay this claim.

FOGHORN LEGHORN:WEASEL WHILE YOU WORK

It's another beautiful Day in northern California. The sun is shining, it is about 66* or so. The sky Is a beautiful Blue. The other day when I went to My doctors appointment I stepped on the scale and was pleased to find that I had lost 6 pounds. But the next day I took Debbie to her appointment and stepped on their scale. According to the scale at Debbie's doctors office I had Gained 6 pounds. So I don't know which is correct. I guess I'll just have to buy a good quality bathroom scale and go by it and it alone. I bet if I used three different scales I would get three different results.

Cat Gone Crazy

I think Salem Has gone crazy. All Day Long she has been blindsiding me. Attacking me from every direction. Its all playful mind you but she has got a set of claws and every now and then she connects with them. Man it's a beautiful day today. The sun is shining and the air smells cleaner than it has in a long time because of the rain.

Post for the Day, The ramblings of a bored Mind

Not much to say
In my post for the Day
But I'll post it anyway
Have a new neighbor named Ray who I think is Gay

Barack Obama
Slipped in the Sauna
Got Blunt Force Trauma
He wants his Mama

Ahmadinajad and I'm OK
Jihad all Night and Jihad all day


Rhymin' Simon

Election Day

Don't Want no Caribou Barbie
Don't want no John McCain
And voting for Obama
would just be plain Insane
Don't know who Joe Biden Is
Don't think I really care
I'm just waitin' for the Mushroom cloud
that's soon to fill the air.

A Little Whine and Cheese

Does anyone mind If I whine a little? Too Bad here goes. I just finished fixing dinner for Debbie and her Brother. Now I have to clean up the dishes and the stove and then feed the cat and then I can sit down and eat. I really don't know what I'm trying to say except that my back hurts and I am tired of always being the one that has to do everything. I need a vacation. But that ain't going to happen.

Spaced out in the Final Frontier.

I've decided to try and make at least one entry a day on this blog. It seems to be therapeutic for me. I Don't really have any one to talk to about my problems. My wife has too many of her own and my sisters, well that's another story. Oh Jesus H Christ I can't even write on my blog in peace because the two of them are bickering back and forth like a couple of children. I'm speaking about Debbie and her Brother. The two of them together drive me crazy with their bickering and arguing.

Last night I was going through some old papers and came across part of an old comedy skit that a Friend and I wrote in college. It was a spoof on Star Trek,
Mad magazine style. It was done for My video production class complete with special effects. The tape was lost long ago.

"Star Trash"
-------------------------

Intro: Spaced out in the finale frontier. These are the hallucinations of the crew off the USS Intercourse. Its mercy mission to the planet Gonorrhea Seven, a planet plagued by the Herpes 2000 virus. Its cargo, a load of custom made Romulan condoms.

The Crew
-------------------------

Captain: James T Squirt
First officer: Mr. Spook
Helmsman: Mr. Screwloose
Navigator: Ensign Checkout(He's never at his station there's
always a memo saying be right back)

Yeoman: Janis Hand (AKA Yeoman Blowman)
Engineer: James Montgomery Scroat(AKA Scroaty)
Medical Officer: Leotard McCoy(AKA "Buns")

I sure wish I still had a copy of the video. WE actually did a pretty good job with it. For warp drive we used a technique called "Video FeedBack" Queen used this in the ground breaking video for "Bohemian Rhapsody". The dialog was a bit X rated but at the time it was hilarious. I remember the opening line was something like This. (Scroaty's voice over intercom)

Mr Scroat: Captain, Scroat here. I'm afraid we'll have to divert a course around Uranus to avoid the Klingons.
Other lines like "Beam Me up Scotty were replaced with "Bag me up Scroaty"
and other such nonsense.
Weapons Like the Phaser were replace with The "Fizzer" (it never Worked, Just made a weazing sound). The Photon Torpedo became the "Protein Torpedo".

Other scenes included Yeoman Blowman answering the intercom in the Captains Quarters. Yeoman: (Swallowing sound) "Gulp" Captains Quarters.

Anyway it was a lot of fun and nonsense. Well I guess thats about all for now.

When it Rains it pours. Literally.

Well after a lomg long dry speel we are finally getting some much needed rain. In fact according to the doppler radar it looks as if we are about to get slammed. Radar shows a band of rain with a lot of orange and red and dark green that stretches from Monterey all the way to The Canadian Border.

In other news. My back is out again. I am having major muscle spasms and tremendous Sciatic nerve pain. Those of you who have experienced this know what I am talking about. I'd give it a 9 on a scale of 10 in the pain scale:(. To make matters worse I am having some major anxiety over a phone call I got on Friday from My new doctors office. I recently went for some comprhensive blood work that included liver function, PSA total(prostate), Lipid panals, Arthritis panals and a bucnh of other tests including bone density. Well the doctor told me that she would call "IF" there were any abnormalities with any of the tests. Well Friday after noon the nurse calls and says that they recieved all the results and that I need to come see the Doctor. No expalaination as to what might be the prblem. Just that I should come in asap. I asked if I could come right away and she told me that the doctor had left for the day and made me an appointment for Tueday as they are closed on Monday. What the fuck? why would they call a person and worry them all week end, nay all weekend and Monday. I keep imaging all sorts of things like cirrhosis of the liver since I already have Nonalcoholic fatty liver disease and that can cause Cirrhosis. Add that to the pain in my upper right abdomen and there goes my imagination. I am really hoping it was the arthritis panal that was abnormal, I think I could deal with that easier. I just lost two close friends. One to Prostate cancer and the other to Cirrhrosis. Any way I just wish that they would have waited till after the weekend to call. Almost seems as if they wanted to worry me. But then again I worry to much. I think I inherited the worry gene from my mom. She worried about everything.

Halloween was better than I expected last night considering that it rained for the first time in recent memory. We had about 20 trick-or-treaters by about 8'o'clock. The rain started about Dusk but it was only a light sprinkle till about 9 o'clock. Well thats about all for now.

What The Hell is In The Bag?

Little miss muffett,
Sat on a Tuffett, Smokin Some THC.
Long come a spider,
Slid down beside her, Said "What's In The Bag BITCH?

What is in the Bag? What more can Life throw at Me?
Will tomorrow be better or worse? Don't know. Just have to wait and see.

"The Pumphouse" Revisited.

If there are actually people out there that read this blog, some of you might remember my writing about one of the plays I was in in high school called "Charlies Aunt". This play had a character named "Lord Fancort Babberly" who was so fabulously Played by a guy Named Garry. Garry was a funny quick witted individual That always did well in school as far as I could see. In fact in junior high he appeared to be somewhat of a Nerd. But something happened over the summer between 9th and 10th grades. when we went back to school Garry had transformed into this long haired pot smoking Tie-dye wearing hippie. Some of the things Garry And I had in common were The fact that we were both in The Drama club and enjoyed doing plays and things like that and the facy that we both Liked to Get HIGH!. Garry had a group of friends that he always hung out with. One of these friends' Parents owned a house that had an early 20th century(or older) Three story Victorian pump house in the back yard. The third floor that used to hold the water tank back in the days of gravity fed plumbing became their club house. This is where they spent most of their free time during high school. According to one of them This probably saved their lives as it gave them a safe haven to experience what it meant to be a teenager in the early 70s.
They spent so much time there that they became known as "The Pump house Gang"

Well here's the point I have so ineptly been trying to make. The Last Time I saw Garry was about 32-33 Years ago. We shared a house briefly after high school and worked a summer or two at a local winery and then He went off to college. several weeks ago I joined "Facebook" When I chose a network one of the first things that came up was a list of "People You Might Know". Low and behold the first name and picture on the list was my old friend Garry. I put in a friends request and waited. Two days later I get a response saying that my request was excepted and sure enough there was Garry's email address and everything. Now after that many years I figured we would email back and forth a few times and that would probably be the end of it. Well as it turns out, he is living On St. Thomas in the US Virgin Islands. But get this, He writes me an email on or about Sept 10 saying that his daughter lives right here in Fairfield and not only that he will be here on Sept 24. So I email him my phone number and tell him to call when he is in town. Now after that many years one would think that the chances of someone you knew 33 years ago actually taking the time to call while they are in the area , well to make a long story short he called on the 25th in the AM and we met at a local Mountain Mikes Pizza and shared a pitcher of beer and a lot of memories. I really enjoyed seeing him again. Oh yea, He was a little surprised that I remembered that "Pumphouse gang" Thing and told me that he and the guys actually still have reunions and a web site. I went to the site and there on the home page was a photo of all these guys from my youth. Wow what a blast from the past that was. Kinda makes me feel old. anyway Here is the link Just because it is interesting
And To Garry, if you ever read this, Thank you for caring enough about an old friend to take the time. A lot of people say they will, But they Don't.

www.thepumphousegang.com

The Real "Wicked Witch Of The West"

The Wicked Witch of The West is alive and well and living in Fairfield Ca. I kid you not, she is really here and living in the apt. Above me. This woman has lived here for about three years. Now as far as neighbors go she is very quite. Does not play loud music or have parties. As some of you may know I feed the feral cats in the neighborhood. Most of them eat out in the bushes behind the apt. Building. There are two however that I have been feeding on my patio. Well The "Woman" upstairs claims that one of them comes up the stairs and lays on her door matt. I have no doubt that this has occurred but what the heck does it hurt? as soon as soon as she turns her door knob the cat runs away. She has tried to have animal control come and trap and uthenize them but they will only come if some one pays for the service. I had all six of them trapped and spay/nuetered and released a year ago by the feral cat society so they are not multiplying. Every one else here has no problem with them, infact most people like them. But this woman wishes they were Dead. She has also asked the management if they would cut down a tree that grows near the end of the building so the birds wont come near her apt. She has demended that I remove my humming bird feeder because she is afraid that the Humming birds will bite. And get this, she called the office yesterday complaing that there were squirrels in the trees in front of our building. God forbid that another creature might have a life.

Over the time she has been here she has heard me say that I hope she doesnt move because she is so quite. So every time she gets a wild hair somewhere or feels like being a bitch she threatens to move. Well this time she said "I'm Outa here" "I shouldn't have to worry about someone feeding cats" well I think this time she is really moving and ya know what ? I DON"T FRICKEN CARE. The weird thing about her is that it's not because she is allergic to animals or anything like that. It seems as if it just bothers her that they are "Alive" and she wants them "Dead" or would prefer if they just didn't exist at all. She even asked me one time if I knew how she could poisen the pidgeons , and they don't even come anywhere near her apt.

Gunsmoke Theme Song

I was feeling a little nostalgic today so I went hunting on You Tube for memories and boy did I find some. Here is just one that made me feel really good and really old at the same time. Here's an interesting bit of trivia. Before Gunsmoke was a television show it was a radio program. The part of Marshal Dillon was played by William Conrad.

The agnostic,Dyslexic, Insomniac

I'm going through a period of depression right now that has me so down and confused about everything. I must have inherited the "Worry Gene" from my mom because like her I worry about everything. I worry about things I have no control over. The Cyst,(or should I say Cysts) in my throat are becoming more noticeable(Or so I think) so I naturally am worried that it could be cancer or something. I worry about stupid things like if the guy next door is going to keep me up all night again gunning the engine of his car every time he leaves the complex on what could only be drug runs because he is in an out of here every 15-20 minutes for hours it seems. He starts up about 11:00-11:30 and continues till about 2 or so. I have tried wearing earplugs but it doesn't help because the deep throated rumble of the motor just shakes the whole building and I feel it as much as hear it. I constantly worry about my income due to the state budget and what will become of us if I lose a big chunk of it. I am constantly worrying about Debbie every time we go somewhere and she does not use her wheel chair, she falls so often and usually hits her head in exactly the same spot. She just falls over like a tree and SMACKS! the back of her head on the ground. Last time she had to have staples put in to hold the wound closed and she lost an awful lot of blood. I am really worry about her Brother too because he is getting to the point where he can hardly walk or even stand up from a chair and I foresee my future wiping another grown mans ass. I already have that "Pleasure" with Debbie's son Danny. I now its not his fault but it is different now that he is 28 years old. I should add that he is not a normal grown man, he suffers from the same disease his mom has and is also mentally retarded. Nothing seems to go right lately. I used to believe that God would not give me any thing I couldn't handle. Now sometimes I feel so confused And Beaten. I am like the Agnostic,Dyslexic,Insomniac who stayed awake all night wondering if there really is a DOG.

"Heart of the Matter"

Well it's another day and here I sit at the computer.
I was just listening to Don Henley's "The Heart of the Matter" and found my self moved to tears. It's times like these that I realize that I am unhappy, very unhappy and I just don't know what to do with myself. I am sad and lonely in a room full of people. I feel as if my marriage is non existent and it is my fault. Everything is my fault. I have an anger and resentment problem that I just don't know how to deal with. I know that this just sounds like self pity and rambling but I sometimes feel like I just want to lay down and die. My health is so screwed up lately that I don't feel like I have but a few years left anyway. I don't know this for a fact but that's just how I feel. Haven't smoked a cigarette for nearly a year and my breathing just seems to get worse instead of better. Figure that.

Every so often these feelings come back.
I can't prevent it, I cant block them out, and I can't talk to anyone about them.
Should I feel guilty for it? maybe I should but I don't.
I miss you ya know. Sometimes in my dreams we are together again and everything is right with the world. Then I wake up and realize I am still right where I was yesterday. It's been nearly 30 years and these dreams still come.

"I'm learning to live without you baby,
But I miss you sometimes,
and the more I know, the less I understand,
All the things I thought I'd figured out
I'll have to learn again
I've been trying to get down
to the heart of the matter
but my will gets weak
and my thoughts seem to scatter
but I think it's about
Forgiveness
Even if, You don't love me anymore."

..............................................D Henley

I can think of a thousand things I would like to write about. A thousand things I want to say. Till I sit down at the key board, Then my mind just goes blank. I'd like to be the kind of writer that can just sit down and with "Flying Fingers" write about all the things that go through my mind. Like the other night I was watching a documentary about the space program and how they expect a manned mission to Mars around 2030. This brought to mind the awe and wonder I remember feeling as a kid watching the moon landing. Then I realized that I probably wont be around to see it. Now this is a perfect example of what I was talking about, I knew 1 minute ago what I wanted to say and now my mind has just lost it. Goddamnit, I can remember looking through the bars of my frickin crib and things that happened when I was only 2 years old but I have trouble remembering what I was thinking only a few minutes ago. Maybe the problem is all the distractions around me. Kids playing in the pool, the television is going in the other room, my wife and her brother are talking, Cars are driving by with loud stereos that produce a mindless beat that apparently todays young people consider "Music". To me it just sounds like the same major note over and over and over again. It shakes the walls of the building and and I can feel it deep in my chest. It just drives me totaly insane. Well there ya go, I have started to rant.

Sooner or Later

It's 4:30 AM on a Tuesday,
It doesn't get much worse than this,
In beds, in rooms, in Buildings,
In the middle of these lives which are completely meaningless.
Please help me stay awake I'm falling,
asleep in perfect blue buildings,
beside the green apple sea,
Just wanna get me a little oblivion baby,
and try and keep myself away from
myself and me.
---------------------------------------------A.Duritz
Sooner or later you wake up in the morning and realize that there are more days behind you than in front of you. Sooner or later you realize that the names in the obituaries are the same as the names in your high school year book.
At one point in my life I wanted to be a television repairman. I was always rather good with electronic things and I was always building something or another with spare parts. I remember when I was laid up in a body cast in a hospital bed at home(Fractured By Back in Gym class) I was always having to call some one to come and change the tv channel for me or turn the volume up or down or the set on or off etc. So I devised a remote control device of sorts using the the rotisserie motor from a BBQ grill, this was attached to the tv tuner shaft and the power cord was plugged into a box I built with a toggle switch. To change the channel I simply hit the switch and the motor would slowly rotate and turn the channel. It had no reverse so to get back to another channel you simply went through them all till you got back to where you were. It also had a volume control and an on/off switch for the TV.
As you can tell I had a lot of time on my hands then.

Another little device I remember was something that I built using a kit that my mom brought me from Radio Shack. It was a 100 in 1 spring board electronic kit that came with a large circuit board with springs on it and a supply of diodes, transistors, resistors, volume pots and such. It had schematics that you would follow to build different things. One of the best and actually the most useful was an AM Transmitter that had a variable setting. It came with a microphone and you could set an am radio to an unused frequency and broadcast your voice over the radio. This was supposed to only be used with the 9 volt battery and an antenna not exceeding 18 inches. But after I got out of the cast and was able to do so I promptly upped the voltage to 12 volts an hooked it up to a roof top TV antenna
and instead of the microphone I hooked up the audio out put wires from a record player and VOILA my own am radio station that could be heard as far as my Friends house which was at least 7-8 blocks away as the crow flys on a good clear day and maybe further at night. I think this is what inspired me to take a broadcasting class at school which Resulted in the opportunity to work as a disc Jockey and radio host on our local high school radio show once a week on the local station KVON. It was Called "Cruising" with Ron Savage and Dana Mitchell. This was one of the most memorable and happiest times of my life. In fact I will write about it in another post and go into more detail. It is something I have always been especially proud of.

Not so Purple Haze.

There are over one thousand wild fires burning through out the state of California.
One of the largest has been burning just a few miles from where I live. The air is filled with the acrid smell of smoke and the sky is a gray/orange haze. The air quality is really bad right now. I find it harder to breath outside lately because I have emphysema and the smoke really messes with my lungs. Fortunately to my knowledge no homes have been destroyed. (yet). The fire that is burning near here started Saturday around 3:pm and has burned over 4'000 acres so far. Not much else to report other than I lost my virginity and shopped at "Wal-Mart" for the first time ever yesterday and was pleasantly surprised that I got so much for my money. I swore I would never shop there because of their questionable business practices and their politics but I have to face the fact that our local K-Mart SUCKS!! OUT LOUD!!!
I went into the store with the intention of spending no more than $100. I got 2 pairs of shoes, 2 pair of pants, 5 t-shirts, ten pair of socks and a very nice dress shirt. When I got to the checkout it all came to $99.15 . I was really amazed. Well thats all for now.

Again I ask " How does a Fat Man tie his shoes"?

Awhile back I posted a lyric parody of The Beatles "Black Bird". At the time I was and still am having a problem with my weight. The doctor has told me that I need to lose 60lbs. Well I Have been buying non fat and low fat food and walking and doing all that I can but here is the kicker. I suffer from severe insomnia. For my insomnia I take a pill called Ambien CR. This works well for sleep but there is just one problem. One of the known side effects is sleep eating. I started finding food missing from the fridge and from the cupboards and had no memory of eating it. It was usually something sweet and fattening like strawberry short cake or cheese cake, all of which I have now quit buying. If Debbie and Buck want something like that they will have to hide it or something. Well this morning I got up and checked the fridge and at first glance the only thing I saw missing was a small container of fat free yogurt. Then I Looked to my left into the doorway compartment and to my horror I discovered that also among the missing was A HALF FRICKIN POUND OF PEPPER JACK CHEESE!!!!!!!. OMFG. I had no idea at the time how relevant that lyric parody would become. Here it is again just for the Heck of it.


Fat man eating in the dead of night,
Take these chicken wings and learn to fry,
what a sight, such an appetite,
You are only waiting for your pizza to arrive.

"Free Money" sort of.

There hasn't been much worth writing about over the past month. Let me start off by saying that this month is starting out to be much better than the last , financially anyway. I received my EIC check the other day for $315 and also found out that my stimulus payment for $600 is due to be mailed on June 13. I was afraid that I would have to report it all as income in which case it would affect Debbie's SSI and my County medical subsidy insurance. I later discovered that it is all exempt income and therefore I don't have to report it at all so it is sort of like Free Money. I will finally be able to purchase some much needed shoes as the ones I am wearing now are so worn out that they are ruining my ankles. I will also be able to pay off the Vet bill and hopefully buy a carpet cleaner which is something I have wanted for sometime. Debbie is in need of some new clothes as well. Speaking of medical insurance, I saw a copy of the bill that the hospital sent to my insurance for an ER visit way back in 2006. For a CT scan and a couple of hours in the ER came to a whopping $17,461.89. I just about fainted. No wonder medical insurance is so expensive in this country. The fees that doctors and hospitals charge are out of control. I suppose that is because we live in such a litigious society that Malpractice insurance is way expensive as well. Well thats about it for now. More later

Ferals on the Move

Went to look in on Will, Mike, And Collin this morning and they are gone. Moana must have moved them during the night. I am in hopes that I will relocate them and be able to set a trap for Moana because she really needs to get spayed. I was informed last night by a friend of mine that has lived in the complex a little longer than I that besides the 7 cats that I currently feed that i Know are her offspring and the
3 new ones, she is also the mother of at least 4 more cats that were around the complex at one time. That makes 14 from one breeding female that I know of. If you add in all the litters from other females that the Feral society has scooped up and adopted out over the last three years or so that adds up to one hell of a lot of cats.

I kinda wish I had never started feeding them because now my heart is to deep into it that it has become an obsession with me. I have to make sure that I feed them at just about the same time every day. If I am 30 minutes late they come looking for me at my apt. Well lets just say that they send out scouts. If I am late with the food I can rest assured that "Little Boy" and or "Marshmallow" will be at my patio door to remind me. Its kinda funny because none of the others venture that close to the apt. It almost seems as if those two are the elected delegates sent to get me. In fact just yesterday Debbie and I were sitting on the patio with Salem and Little boy came onto the patio, They seem to get along just fine and even looked as if they were playing. Then out of nowhere Little boy walked right into the apt. Remember this is a totally Feral Cat that has had no human contact except for me at feeding times.(and running from the kids that chase them) Over the past year He has gotten more and more comfortable around me and yesterday he even rubbed up against Debbie but the minute she put out her hand to pet him he backed off. Just a few feet but just out of reach.

Well today is the day that the man that said he will give the abandoned Orange Cat a home is supposed to be back from vacation. I sure hope he keeps his word because this orange cat is so lovable and deserving of a good home and it just breaks my heart to see her living in the black berry bushes any longer. She gets plenty of food and water but she is a people cat and craves love and attention. I spend as much time as I can with her but I can only do so much. Yesterday I sat with her and held her in my arms for about twenty minutes. The moment I picked her up she immediately laid her head on my shoulder and started to purr like a motor boat. Then when I put her down to leave she tried to fallow me home. Broke my heart. I sure hope Bill comes through and takes her.

More Feral Kittens

Some of you may know from reading pass posts that I feed the feral cats in the apt. complex. For the last year I have been busy with a litter of 7 plus their mother.
The Kittens are no longer kittens but have grown into full grown cats. Michelle, a friend of mine that works with the Feral Cat society has been successful in trapping and Spaying/Neutering six of them. They are then released back to the property.

I have given them all names, They are Hoss, Little Joe, Hop-Sing,Little boy, Marshmallow, Tooter and Maggie. The mothers name is Moana. I had been hoping that "Moana" would get trapped and fixed But no such luck., she had another litter About three weeks ago. I was able to sneak a peek at them, there are Three and it is to early to tell what Gender they are so for now their names are Will, Mike and Collin Feral (Get it?) I will post more info as it becomes available. Hopefully We can trap Moana and get her fixed and Put the kittens up for adoption before they become truly Feral. If you get them early enough then you can find them good homes but after a certain point it is nearly impossible to get them to trust humans. It has taken me over a year to get Little boy and Marshmallow to eat at my feet. The others wait till I have left the immediate area. Actually Little Boy let me touch him once briefly.

The Story Of "Clawdia Le Pew"

That's It. I am changing Salem's Name To "Clawdia Le Pew". Statistics say that only 5% of spayed female cats spray, I ended up with one of those 5. When Salem was a kitten she was the sweetest little thing. She liked to lay on Debbie's lap and purr for hours. We never had a problem concerning her claws because she would only use the scratching post. Since the death of her brother however she has done a 180, She now claws everything in sight and has began to spray every where. I have made an appointment with the vet because I have learned that the best way to handle this is with medication. Believe it or not the medicine that Vets prescribe for this is "Prozac" Or "Paxil". From what I have read it can take as long as 2-3 months to see results. So in the mean time I will also be spending a small fortune on pet fresh and Incense.


When Salem was a kitten,
With Fur as black as coal,
Her temperament was pleasant,
She wouldn't hurt a soul.

But now she sleeps away the days,
and Romps and plays all night,
She sprays on all the furniture,
And claws everything in sight.

Her name of Salem no longer fits,
so this is what I'll do.
I'll Change her Name from Salem,
To "Clawdia Le Pew".

(not really changing her name)

Ambien, Ambien, Oh you the keeper of sleep. A deep Blue Corridor to Engrossing Dreams.

I have been asking my self lately what there is to look forward to when the High light of your day is the end of the day. When the first thing you think about when you wake up is how you can hardly wait till it is time to go to sleep again. And how everything in between is either painful, Irritating, annoying and otherwise unpleasant. Even the mere sound of your spouses Voice or the thought of the phone ringing. And ya' Know what? I can't come up with a single thing. I finally decided to write about it just to fill in a little time but I am already beginning to draw a blank. I could go out earlier than usual to feed the Feral Cats and the sweet abandoned Orange Kitty that some ass hole left at the Apt. complex But then what would I do at the regular feeding time. OMFG my life has become a stagnate hole of routine.

A few months ago I obtained a prescription for Ambien CR. I am now finding out that I have become Addicted to them. I have become so obsessed with them that I count how many I have left every night and live in fear of the day that the Script. expires, which by the way just happened and I am afraid that My doc may not renew it. I find no pleasure in anything any more except" SLEEP" Escaping the realities of everyday life. In sleep I am no longer Debbie and Buck's Caregiver. I can be what ever I want to be. I can return to the days when I used to play music with my friends or to my Theater days when I had the Mind and memory and the ambition to audition for parts in plays. When I had the time to have a hobby. Now I am afraid to leave the house for any length of time for fear that Debbie will fall or get her self in some other sort of predicament, she seems to be very good at that. I really can't depend on any one else because we really don't have that many friends. For some reason People don't seem to like Debbie. Well I shouldn't say they don't like her it's just that most people find her difficult so therefore we don't have very many close friends. Actually my Friend Larry is the only One and that's probably because he doesn't live next door any more. and then There is My Friend Keath. We are what you might Call Pen Pals of sort because we have never met, only talk on the net but I feel as If I have known him all my life. I don't know what the reason is for sure why people don't take to her , maybe it's because she is always sick in one way or another and complaining about this or that. Well I can't go into that right now because it just depresses me. And let me add that she has not always been this way, she has just been dealt a bad hand Health wise. Well I guess that's enough because I am beginning to Ramble and complain my self.

For Winston

Dear Winston,
I hope where ever you are that the flowers smell as sweet as the memories That you leave me with. You were sick for a long time and I hope you know that I tried everything that I could to save you. I don't know where good pets go when they go home but when you get their say hello to Huckleberry and Cody and tell them That Daddy and Mommy love them as we do you. Be happy my little Friend.

The Seventh "B" Finally Accounted for.

The other day my sister called and told me some really amazing news about One of my Uncles. My Dad was one of Seven children. He Had Five Brothers and one sister. All their names started with the letter "B". There were the Boys, Bob, Bill, Bert, Bart, Burney and Burley and the sister Beulah, of coarse she went by her middle name Maryellen.

I grew up knowing my uncles Bob, Burney, Bert and I remember meeting my uncle Bart when I was very young But I don't recall much about him. My other uncle Burley lived what one might call a "Hobo" life style. From what I've been told he drank a lot and wasn't all that pleasant to be around and had a bad temper. Oddly enough though I only have good memories of him being as he was the one that gave me my first drink of beer and taught me to drive a car when I was about 8 or 9 years old. He would put me between his legs on the seat and put the car in gear and let me drive it around a large parking lot across the street from where we lived. This was at a time when he was living with us and trying to get sober which apparently didn't work because he left town and from what I've been told was never heard from again until My uncle Burney received An envelope that contained Burley's personnel effects such as his ID wallet and other Items. Because of this the whole family assumed he was dead.

Well here it is nearly 30 years or more later and My sister gets a call from my aunt Maryellen and finds that Burley Just died a little over 1 1/2 years ago. He has been living in the desert area of southern Ca. near a town Called Nyland. All these years he was alive and could have reached out to his family and didn't. Go figure. And the strangest thing is that the town where he was living is only a short car drive from where His sister Maryellen lives. Apparently he was living at an abandoned Military base known as the "Slabs" because all the buildings have been torn down and all that remains are the concrete "Slabs". It is apparently a popular camp site for the homeless.

211 Pine Steet, Or "Where the Hell is H.G. Wells?"

Don't wanna be Bored Ward,
Lets fly to the Moon June,
Just Hand me the cleaver Beaver,
Good Golly I miss Wally,
My name's Eddie, don't Haskell Me.

Miller's Pond, Metzger's field, Friends lake, These are all places of my child hood. By that I mean the child hood that I dream about. How nice it would be to go back to a day when the words"Family Values" actually meant something . To a day when a young boys Idea of having fun on a Saturday afternoon meant going to the creek and catching pollywogs or swinging out over the water on a rope swing. Back to a day when words like "Bad" meant "Bad" and if your pants sagged it meant that they were "TOO BIG" for you.

I remember attending an elementary school where the only we had to worry about being hit with was a dodge ball not a bullet. Oh there might have been the occasional after school fight which at my school usually took place behind the baseball backstop. These fights would usually end as soon as one of the boys got a black eye or a bloody nose and that would be the end of it. There was no Drive By shootings, maybe a Drive by Egging.

When I was about 11 or 12 years old I had a "Sting Ray" Bicycle, remember those, with the Banana seat?. Some of the neighborhood boys and I had sort of a "Sting Ray" club. Some Saturdays we would all ride our bikes up Redwood road till we came to the Christian Bros. Mt. La Salle winery. This was about a seven mile ride or so, maybe more and all up hill. Once at the top we would coast all the way back down the mountain sometimes reaching terrifying speeds. Fortunately no one was ever hurt seriously. But it was so much fun. Where the hell is H.G. Wells and his time machine when you need him? Hey Beav' Hey Wally wait for me, I'm Comin'

Johnny Cash's Jurisdiction Snafu?

This Is just something I have been thinking about the last couple of days, Don't even know why it matters but it keeps going through my head. In Johnny Cash's song "Folsom Prison Blues" The Lyrics state that he "Shot A Man In Reno" Which is in the state of "Nevada" yet he is doing time in "Folsom prison" which is in the state of "California" All the while hearing the whistle of a train that is headed on"On down to San Antonio" which is in the state of "Texas". Doesn't really matter but am I the only one who has noticed this? Just wonderiong out loud.

It Stopped Raining, Now its pouring.

I just can't seem to catch a break.The good news is Winston has been on a double dose of prednisone for 4 days and is acting as if he is feeling much better. The bad news is that hhe hasn't pooped in 2 1/2 days so I don't know what is going on there. His blood work shows no lukemia or feline aids but his red cell count is border line at 27, (should be 29). He may also have FIP(feline infectious peretinitus) the question is to what degree. It can be mild or in some cases fatal. He will most likely have to take meds the rest of his life. The other bad news is that Debbie is in the hospital again with pneumonia and I am getting sick again. Don't feel much like writing any more.

"Just A Spoon Full Of Sugar...."

I finally Discovered how to give Winston the liquid medicine without him instantly spitting it back out. I talked to the Dr. This morning and he said to hold him by the back of the neck and put the syringe behind his canine tooth. There is a gap between the teeth there and the liquid should go right down his throat without him even tasting it, Voila, it worked. Now maybe after a few days of being on the antibiotics he will improve. I sure Hope so, I love him sooo much and would be devastated if something were to happen to him. Below I have posted a video by Blues Traveler, I must have spent 3 hours on you tube today just enjoying music I haven't heard in years, I just Love you tube!!! Oh And By the way, THANK YOU DOCTOR COOPER!!!

Another You Tube Gem.Blues Traveler - 'Run Around' Music Video Clip

I just Love John Popper's Harp playing. The Tempo and feel of this song gives me an ear to ear Grin!!!!! LOVE IT!!!!!!!

Well lets see, what to report. Not a whole bunch going on around here lately, at least nothing worth writing about. Debbie and I are finally over being sick(knock on wood). I talked to my sister in San Diego this morning and she tell me that my nephew is talking about joining the Marines. Of all the Branches of the service why the frickin Marines? I am really worried about this because I am always hearing on the news about U.S Marines that are being Killed in Iraq. I also understand that he is talking about the infantry. I don't understand this because he has a degree in business finance. He has some crazy Idea that if he goes to officers candidate school and goes in as an officer he can live on base and save all his money to invest in real estate. Hard to live on base if you are in Iraq. I guess in Iraq he wouldn't have living expenses either but he might also stop living.

In other news, good old Arnold is at it again. The proposed budget cuts the Governor wants would all but wipe out my income from In home supportive services. I suppose I can go flip burgers or something but at my age it is going to be hard to find a job, especially with my health problems. We would also have to pay some one to come in and help with all the things that Debbie and her brother need help with if I am forced to take an outside job.

Another problem that has presented itself is Winston's health. In the last 3 weeks I have spent about $65 on medication for him and he is still not getting any better. Today I went to the vet and picked up another $28 prescription of antibacterial/anti fungal medication. The vet thinks he may have an intestinal infection but without $150-$300 in tests there is no way to know for sure. If this latest round of meds shows no improvement I will be forced to just wait until I can save some money and hope he does not die in the mean time. I wish he could tell me where it hurts. He has no appetite and his stools ar small and runny, and his rectum bleeds when he has a BM, and he sleeps all the time. His sister on the other hand has an activity level like the cat from hell, I have to put the living room back together every morning because she runs wild all night long.

Well it's been quite a while since I've sat down to write on this Blog, Mainly because I have been really sick since before Christmas. I believe I had some sort of Flu bug even though I had a flu shot this year. From what I understand they only protect against certain types of flu. Any way it all started on the Thursday before Christmas. We went to Mike and Barbara's house for pizza and to practice song service for church. Mike and I play guitar and Barbara plays keyboard and we all sing. On the way home Barbara mentioned that she had a little bit of a cold but I thought nothing of it at the time. The next night however Debbie and I were both starting to get sick with sore throats and chest congestion and by Saturday morning we were full blown sick.

I knew I had to be well by Monday because Danny was coming for Christmas and so was Debbie's cousin Barry. I didn't want to disappoint any one so I forced my self to feel better I guess and by Monday after noon I thought I was over the worst.

Monday evening arrived and as is tradition in our family we exchanged gifts and had a very pleasant evening. The next day was Christmas and I awoke early to put the turkey in the oven and prepare for the day and felt ok, But as the day wore on I started to feel sick again and everything else began to fall apart. At one point Debbie's brother came and told me that he thought Danny was getting sick so I went to check on him and he was not getting sick he was CHOKING! on his food. I noticed that he was turning blue and making weired gurgling sounds so I got behind him and performed the Heimlich maneuver and up came a huge air bubble and a ton of food. I thought that the worst was over and just then he began to gag again so as I was Hiemliching him again I had Debbie call 911. About the time that the medics arrived he finally hacked up the last of whatever he was choking on. I had them take him to the hospital just in case. They did a chest Xray to make sure that it all came out and that I did no damage with the Heimlich Maneuver and 5 hours later we were able to return home. That was how we spent Christmas evening, in An ER.

Wednesday December 26th, Woke up feeling miserable again so I took Danny home and went to the grocery store for a few Items and as I was waiting for a taxi to return home I noticed that it was 45* out and I was soaking wet with sweat. I got home and took my temperature and found that I had a fever of 104.2 so I went back to bed and stayed there till today. I am finally feeling better but still have a persistent cough.

In other news, I have been saying for a long time that we need more rain. Be careful what you wish for. It is coming down in buckets today. I heard that we got almost 3 inches over night and that the winds are gusting up to 65 mph at times. Sure am glad that I don't have to go anywhere for at least 2-3 days.

Happy new year to every one and Especially to my friends Keath and Cindy, May the Lord bless you both abundantly.

Th Th Th That's all folks.