Keep Calm

Keep Calm

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Again I ask " How does a Fat Man tie his shoes"?

Awhile back I posted a lyric parody of The Beatles "Black Bird". At the time I was and still am having a problem with my weight. The doctor has told me that I need to lose 60lbs. Well I Have been buying non fat and low fat food and walking and doing all that I can but here is the kicker. I suffer from severe insomnia. For my insomnia I take a pill called Ambien CR. This works well for sleep but there is just one problem. One of the known side effects is sleep eating. I started finding food missing from the fridge and from the cupboards and had no memory of eating it. It was usually something sweet and fattening like strawberry short cake or cheese cake, all of which I have now quit buying. If Debbie and Buck want something like that they will have to hide it or something. Well this morning I got up and checked the fridge and at first glance the only thing I saw missing was a small container of fat free yogurt. Then I Looked to my left into the doorway compartment and to my horror I discovered that also among the missing was A HALF FRICKIN POUND OF PEPPER JACK CHEESE!!!!!!!. OMFG. I had no idea at the time how relevant that lyric parody would become. Here it is again just for the Heck of it.


Fat man eating in the dead of night,
Take these chicken wings and learn to fry,
what a sight, such an appetite,
You are only waiting for your pizza to arrive.

1 comment:

Keath Graham said...

I take regular Ambien and have found myself guilty of sleep-eating as well. I'm averaging 222 pounds but my docs want me down to 210. I ordered a salad from a restaurant today and thought it would be a neat and tidy thing. Out comes this huge bowl of salad and lots of dressing. I loved it but now think it had more calories than a cheeseburger in it.

Loved your "Black Bird" parody! Hopefully Weird Al is reading and will make a song out of it and give you royalties.

But my, oh my, don't the Ambiens help one sleep so well!