Spaced out in the Final Frontier.

I've decided to try and make at least one entry a day on this blog. It seems to be therapeutic for me. I Don't really have any one to talk to about my problems. My wife has too many of her own and my sisters, well that's another story. Oh Jesus H Christ I can't even write on my blog in peace because the two of them are bickering back and forth like a couple of children. I'm speaking about Debbie and her Brother. The two of them together drive me crazy with their bickering and arguing.

Last night I was going through some old papers and came across part of an old comedy skit that a Friend and I wrote in college. It was a spoof on Star Trek,
Mad magazine style. It was done for My video production class complete with special effects. The tape was lost long ago.

"Star Trash"
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Intro: Spaced out in the finale frontier. These are the hallucinations of the crew off the USS Intercourse. Its mercy mission to the planet Gonorrhea Seven, a planet plagued by the Herpes 2000 virus. Its cargo, a load of custom made Romulan condoms.

The Crew
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Captain: James T Squirt
First officer: Mr. Spook
Helmsman: Mr. Screwloose
Navigator: Ensign Checkout(He's never at his station there's
always a memo saying be right back)

Yeoman: Janis Hand (AKA Yeoman Blowman)
Engineer: James Montgomery Scroat(AKA Scroaty)
Medical Officer: Leotard McCoy(AKA "Buns")

I sure wish I still had a copy of the video. WE actually did a pretty good job with it. For warp drive we used a technique called "Video FeedBack" Queen used this in the ground breaking video for "Bohemian Rhapsody". The dialog was a bit X rated but at the time it was hilarious. I remember the opening line was something like This. (Scroaty's voice over intercom)

Mr Scroat: Captain, Scroat here. I'm afraid we'll have to divert a course around Uranus to avoid the Klingons.
Other lines like "Beam Me up Scotty were replaced with "Bag me up Scroaty"
and other such nonsense.
Weapons Like the Phaser were replace with The "Fizzer" (it never Worked, Just made a weazing sound). The Photon Torpedo became the "Protein Torpedo".

Other scenes included Yeoman Blowman answering the intercom in the Captains Quarters. Yeoman: (Swallowing sound) "Gulp" Captains Quarters.

Anyway it was a lot of fun and nonsense. Well I guess thats about all for now.