I have been asking my self lately what there is to look forward to when the High light of your day is the end of the day. When the first thing you think about when you wake up is how you can hardly wait till it is time to go to sleep again. And how everything in between is either painful, Irritating, annoying and otherwise unpleasant. Even the mere sound of your spouses Voice or the thought of the phone ringing. And ya' Know what? I can't come up with a single thing. I finally decided to write about it just to fill in a little time but I am already beginning to draw a blank. I could go out earlier than usual to feed the Feral Cats and the sweet abandoned Orange Kitty that some ass hole left at the Apt. complex But then what would I do at the regular feeding time. OMFG my life has become a stagnate hole of routine.
A few months ago I obtained a prescription for Ambien CR. I am now finding out that I have become Addicted to them. I have become so obsessed with them that I count how many I have left every night and live in fear of the day that the Script. expires, which by the way just happened and I am afraid that My doc may not renew it. I find no pleasure in anything any more except" SLEEP" Escaping the realities of everyday life. In sleep I am no longer Debbie and Buck's Caregiver. I can be what ever I want to be. I can return to the days when I used to play music with my friends or to my Theater days when I had the Mind and memory and the ambition to audition for parts in plays. When I had the time to have a hobby. Now I am afraid to leave the house for any length of time for fear that Debbie will fall or get her self in some other sort of predicament, she seems to be very good at that. I really can't depend on any one else because we really don't have that many friends. For some reason People don't seem to like Debbie. Well I shouldn't say they don't like her it's just that most people find her difficult so therefore we don't have very many close friends. Actually my Friend Larry is the only One and that's probably because he doesn't live next door any more. and then There is My Friend Keath. We are what you might Call Pen Pals of sort because we have never met, only talk on the net but I feel as If I have known him all my life. I don't know what the reason is for sure why people don't take to her , maybe it's because she is always sick in one way or another and complaining about this or that. Well I can't go into that right now because it just depresses me. And let me add that she has not always been this way, she has just been dealt a bad hand Health wise. Well I guess that's enough because I am beginning to Ramble and complain my self.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment