I had to remove the picture of Debbie that was at the head of this Blog because every time I come here It would set off waves of emotion that made me start Crying. I miss her so much. I have to start doing something positive for myself each day. Yesterday I went to have my taxes done and found that I will be getting a $1200 refund. I am very thankful for that because with my huge loss of income from being Debbies caregiver I will need it. When a person is a caregiver for someone for so long it becomes an obsession of sorts. I have forgotten how to look for work. I applied for unemployment benefits but mistakenly clicked no when asked if I had any physical limitations. Well I do. I have Hep-C, Liver disease and degenerative disc disease in my back which causes sciatica(nerve pain). My resume is empty except for the last ten years + as a care giver. My experience as a sound engineer and TV studio tech was so long ago that it is obsolete now. It is going to be hard to find a job I am suited for. All I have done for the past ten years is be a care giver. I still take care of her brother. But his disease hasn't progressed to the level Debbies had. I am thinking about Vocational rehab. Maybe get my fork lift cert. Back. I was a really good fork lift driver but it was so long ago.
The worse times are the mornings and late evenings when I miss her the most. I can not even begin to remove her belongings from the dressers and closet. It is too painful. I imagine I will get around to it eventually. I want to be happy again. I know that my wife Loved me and would want that for me as well. But right now The grief is still to fresh.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Hey Ron, I know the grief you're going through. I was at my Mother's bedside when she died of lung cancer. It took forever to adapt to life without her.
As for work, I think you would qualify for disability. Contact Binder & Binder and they'll fight for your right to get disability payments. You can also have a part time job if you so choose and still get disability payments.
Don't stress yourself too much. Cindy gets $1,300 a month simply because she's depressed. And technically, my tinnitus could qualify me for disability as well. I just have to swallow my pride and apply for it.
I'm praying for you and wishing you all the best.
Post a Comment