The loneliness Is unbearable and the silence is deafening. I can still hear her voice calling from the other room, Honey can you Bring me something to Drink"? And I find myself starting to move as if to head for the kitchen when it hits me that it was all in my head and that she is no longer there. I try to find comfort in the thought that she is no longer in pain but at rest and at peace with the Lord, But My Faith I believe has been shakin a bit. I wonder how a Loving God could take both my son and my wife of so many years from me in less that a years time. I find it hard to look at the picture at the head of this blog without bursting into tears, so I may remove it. I don't Know. It hurts to cry, it hurts not to cry. It just plain Hurts. I know I have to start getting my ducks in a row financially because my savings are not going to last forever. But Right now I just don't feel like doing anything but sleeping because when I am asleep it doesn't hurt. Writing about all this on this blog does seem to help some as I really have no one to talk to about it. My church family has been of help but that just brings me back to the whole "Do I really Believe" thing. It is hard for me to believe like I said that a Loving God would take so much from me in such a short Time.