The Other Shoe?

I wrote earlier about all the things that have happened in the last year concerning Debbie's Aunt Judy, her sister Donna, and Her uncle Tim. Last September her sister Donna passed from complications due to the Myotonic Dystrophy,Then 3 weeks later her uncle Tim, who was despondent over Aunt Judy being in a nursing home and never going to get any better committed suicide. Then on the 23rd of may aunt Judy passed away. Judy's first visit to the hospital was caused by a broken ankle that never really healed and then she went back with a severe case of pneumonia from which she never really recovered and the dystrophy just began to ravage her body till she finally passed. I've been wondering what the hell else could happen, when was the other shoe going to drop. Well today Debbie fell and I think she Broke her ankle. She fell in exactly the Same way as her Aunt Judy did. I am so afraid that if she gets laid up like Judy she will end up in the hospital and get worse and worse till she ends up just like Judy. The stress lately is unbearable. I just want to crawl in a hole and pull the dirt in after me.

High Anxiety?

I really am at my witts end. I am so frustrated lately because my wife is having those damned anxiety attacks again. She is currently taking lorazapam and it has been helping but as of late she is having to double the dosage. Every thing seems fine untill round about sundown. Thats when she starts to feel them coming on. I know what they are like but When you are not the one having them it is hard to deal with because I just feel so helpless as to what to do. Actually there really isn't anything anyone can do that makes them any less severe. So I usually wait till she has taken the second lorazapam and then I leave the room untill she starts to feel better. Because If I stay in the room I begin to get short tempered with her and that makes things worse. Every time she sees a doctor and describes what she goes through, they just prescribe another pill that works for a while but then loses effectivness. I think the source of a lot of her anxiety is that she suffers from "cabin fever" because we don't have a car and she is dependent on her power scooter for mobility and that is limited as far as where she can take it, that and it only travels at 5 miles an hour. I really need to work on getting my license back and getting a vehicle. Then we will be able to go places and do things together again. Maybe that will help.

Early to bed, Early to rise, Makes a man, Freakin Tired before 4pm.

What a day. We had to get up at 5:30 am so we could be ready for Paratransit to pick us up at 7:am for an 8:am appointment with Debbie's eye doctor. It's only a fifteen minute drive but 7:am was the only time they had available. So we get there 45 minutes early and find that the office doesn't even open till 8am. I thought "That's strange, why would they give us an 8:am appointment" so we sit there till 8:40 and finally I ask the receptionist what happened to Deb's 8:am appointment? to which she replied, "her appointment is at 8:50, we don't schedule appointments for 8:00" I said "well that's what it says on the appointment card I have right here" as I pulled the card from my wallet I noticed that it did indeed say 8:50, but the person who wrote it wrote it so hastily that the 5 looked like a 0 and I just miss read it, so I just said oh I guess I don't have the card with me after all. I was really embarrassed. Remembering that paratransit was coming back for us at 9:30 I realized That there wasn't enough time so I called them to reschedule the return pick up time. As i figured they told me that they would have to squeeze us in when ever they could. So long story short we sat and waited for two and a half hours waiting to be picked up. So a 45 minute appointment turned into a 5 hour ordeal.

For Aunt Judy,We Love you.

Today our family gathered in Suisun city by the water to say goodbye to Debbie's aunt Judy. Judy wasn't just Debbie's aunt she was her best friend and soul mate. Judy actually died on the 23rd of last month but due to difficulties in transporting her remains from Santa Barbara to Fairfield she was Cremated there and we assume that her ashes were to be scattered On the ocean by the Neptune Society. Today was just a way for the family to get together and say goodbye formally. It started with a luncheon at a really nice small restaurant in old town Suisun. Suisun is a small town that is adjacent to Fairfield. The nice thing about Suisun is that it has a water front that is part of the Sacramento Delta waterway system. Ater the lunch which by the way was at a very nice place called "The Joy of Eating" the family walked accross the street to the waterfront. There we read Judy's favorite passage from the Bible and said a few prayers and then cast flowers on the water so the tide would carry them to the ocean where her ashes were scattered. She is survived by her sons Mark McBurney of Oregon and his wife Randee, Barry McBurney of Sacramento Ca. And Brandon McBurney of Suisun Ca. and Grandaughter Hailee McBurney of Oregon,

Sister Beverly Carroll of Winamac Indiana, and several Nieces and Nephews.

We would to specially thank Sharon and Ahmed Haffez for all their help in putting this memorial luncheon together. They are the parents Of Brandon's wife Sanaya.

Our father which art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy name

thy kingdom, thy will be done,

in Earth as it is in Heaven.

Goodbye Judy, We love you.

I have had some Pets in the past that had some strange habits, but none as weird as the one that both of my cats have developed. I have had cats that like to rub against or nuzzle on my leg and stuff like that but Winston and Salem have developed a routine that we go through every morning. When I go to the kitchen to fix their food Winston will go to my left foot and Salem to my right foot and they lick my little toes(pinkys). This has become an every morning thing and it is always the same, Winston on the left and Salem on the right.

I am thinking about taking a writing Class at our local community college this summer. I read my Friend Keath's Blog and I am so impressed with his gift for writing That I look forward to it every day and wish I could write like that, It seems like such a good way to get out the things that tend to clog up your mind. To get them out in the open without really having to say them to a real person.
For example; I find it hard to admit to any one how frustrated I am with my wife and her brother concerning their disability for fear that I might come across as uncaring, On the contrary, I do care, I'm Just human and sometimes I feel like I need a break from their constant neediness, Some time to not have to jump any time I hear a loud noise for fear it was one of them falling again or some time to just be able to go fishing by myself or camping for a few days.
It seems that when I want to get away for just a little while Debbie takes it personally and then we argue and things just go down hill from there.

Well so it appears That I am entering The "Whine Country" again so I'll close for now. I should be thinking of what I want to write concerning my mom's days as a concert promoter because there are so many neat stories to tell. I really need to get my sister to send me some of the memorobilia that she saved from the Teen Center days and the concerts at the Napa Fairgrounds. I am sure that would jog my memories..

How does a Fat Man Tie His Shoes?

Fat Man Eating in the dead of night
Take some chicken wings and learn to fry
What a life
such an appetite
You are only Waiting for your Pizza to arrive



I Was a Meth head for so many years that I was never over weight.
In fact I was always too thin. At one point I was 135 lbs. This was really skinny because I am a little more than 6 ft. tall. Now since I've been clean for years it's just the opposite, I'm 255lbs and I don't know how to lose it. My weight gain seems to be all in my stomach area and that makes things like Tying my shoes a real pain in the ass.
I will never,ever, take little things like tying my shoes or bending over to pet my cat for granted again. And oh yea , my neighbors kid called me "lumpy" today, he meant in a joking way but it still felt weird. I've never been FAT before. I've heard people say that they ate because they were depressed and thought "Thats just an excuse"But now I know exactly what they meant. I've just replaced the drugs with food. This scares the hell out of me because I have , just for a second considered doing meth again to lose weight. But I know that if I did that I would be dead in no time .

Rosie O'Donnell and the "Price Is Wrong"

I don't Really watch the "Price is Right" all that much but it is my mentaly handicapped stepsons Favorite show of all time. He enjoys it so much that I have to record a weeks worth of episodes so that when he comes for his Once monthly week end visits he can watch them when he likes. His favorite part seems to be the introduction of the host because he exclaims along with the announcer, "And now here's the host of the Price is Right, BOB BARKER! He gets a huge smile on his face and giggles with delight. I am wondering how Bob's Departure from the show is going to effect "Danny" He is 27 years old(mental capacity about 11) Bob Barker has been the host all his life. I am probably worried over nothing but for "kids" like him routine is very important.

I have been hearing that Rosie O'Donnell is in the running to replace Bob Barker. If this Happens I think it will be the beginning of the end for the show.
Not that I think she couldn't do the job its just that since her remarks concerning 9/11 and accusing Americans of being behind it I don't think she is very popular, That and I personally Think she is Disgusting. But thats just my opinion.

Race Cat Hour

I've known for a while that My cats,Winston and Salem Have what I call "Race Cat Hour" at least several Times in a 24 hour period, usually late at night or early in the morning. Its been a while since We have had cats and I had forgotten how rowdy they can get. Until now "Race cat hour" has consisted of merely chasing each other around in circles and behind the couch and such but this morning was a different story. Every waste basket in the house was overturned as well as the garbage container in the Kitchen. The venetian Blinds in the kitchen are now bent all to hell and several of my wife's porcelain Dolls were knocked over, luckily none broke. Guess it's time to Kitty proof the apartment, Ya think.

Perspective.

I have been thinking that I have been doing a awful lot of bitching and moaning about my lot in life lately and Quoting Adam Duritz Lyrics and all when there are a lot of people with a lot more problems than I. At least I have food to eat and a roof over my head and some sort of medical ins. So I figure all in all it ain't that bad and that it is time to do something on this Blog for the good lord. Therefore I Submit some of my own lyrics that I wrote on the spur of the moment in church a few years back when pastor Dan asked me to play a song and I was Just drawing a blank trying to think of a song that I knew that was appropriate for church.

" All Aboard" By R.K.Savage

All aboard, All aboard
There's a Train bound for Heaven
All Aboard
When I get to the Station
There will be no Hesitation
There's a train bound for Heaven
All Aboard.

There have been times when I was scared
But through the love of my Savior I was spared
Yea If you take a real good look
at the words in the good book
There's a Train Bound for Heaven All Aboard

All Aboard, All Aboard
There's a Train Bound for Heaven, All Aboard
Yea he's got your Reservation
for your final destination
On a train bound for Heaven, All Aboard.

Sleeps Sweet Release.

I wrote earlier about a dream(nightmare) I had in which I sold one of my kidneys so that I could buy a new Bed, only to have my other kidney shut down. I don't usually have Bad dreams. on the contrary I generally look forward to sleeping and dreaming as a form of escape from reality. I will dream of my days working in the music business or of the days when I was involved in theatre or something like that only to awaken with the sun to my reality.

Again I am reminded of lyrics written By Adam Duritz:

Hey, I only want the same as anyone
Henderson is waiting for the sun
Oh, it seems night endlessly begins and ends
After all the dreaming I come Home again
******************************************************
I'm almost drowning in her sea
she's nearly crawling on her knees
She's "Almost" everything I need
I'm down on my knees
I'm down on my knees.

You try to tell yourself the things you try to tell yourself to make yourself FORGET!

When I get up in the morning the first thing I usually do is have my coffee while checking out my friend Keaths Blog. This morning I was surprised and Pleased to see that he referred to me as his "New Best Friend" I would like to take this opportunity to say that the feeling is mutual. Recently I had posted some lyrics to a song By "Counting Crows" called "Anna Begins" on my Blog. This song holds special significance because of the what I am Dealing with due to Debbies illness. When I read Keath's Blog this morning I was blown away at his take on the lyrics, I have never heard it put so well. Alot of times when I am feeling depressed and alone in all the chaos that surrounds me I will slap on a set of headphones put that CD in the player and go away for a little while.



I have also noticed that with all the similarities in our relationships with our wives there are also some significant differences. Where as Cindy will give Him a hug and ask if she is bothering him Debbie would just prefer to bother me.

It seems as if after 26 years of marriage we are drifting farther and farther apart instead of becoming closer. The only time we seem to really get along any more is when we are in church on sunday and I am begining to wonder if that is just for show. At times I feel as if I love her just as much as I ever did and at times I don't even like her any more. and I am sure that the feeling is mutual alot of the time. There a weeks that we get along and really try hard to please each other and then there are times when we say hurtful things to each other and I feel like I just want out.



Debbie's Disability Is a disease called "Myotonic Dystrophy". It is a degenerative muscle disease that also effects motor function and mental functions. It is a hereditary condition that has taken the lives of her first born son and most recently her Favorite Aunt."Judy" due to complications from the Dystrophy and Pneumonia That landed her in a rest home about 5 years ago where she just languished in and out of comas till finally passing away last month. So I take care of her and her Brother who is also afflicted with this terrible disease, They are both able still able to walk, somewhat with the help of a cane or walker and Debbie has a scooter to get around town, But when it comes to house work, shopping, remembering DR appointments, Medication etc. It is all on me, And my problems and needs seem to fall by the way side. I hope that i don't sound Like whiner but But right now i just really need some "Me" time. Case in point, at this very moment I am trying to write this while at the same time answer Questions from Debbie that I truely believe are designed just to draw attention away from the computer to her, I only spend about an hour a day or so on the computer which I don't think is unreasonable but to hear her talk about it I am on it "all" day long. I have even tried writing late at night (2AM) but if I am not in the Bed and she wakes up she comes into the kitchen and complains about my being up, Oh shit I am whining, I guess I better stop for now cause I start to ramble when I get like this.



I never realized the Relevance that "Anna Begins" has in my life.



How I feel right now:



With the status of my emotions

oh, she says, "you're changing".

But we're always changing



It does not bother me to say this isn't love

because if you don't want to talk about it then it isn't

love

and I guess I'm gonna have to live with that

But i'm sure there's

something in a shade

of grey, or

something in between

and I can always

change my name

if thats what you

mean.

A Bed, Bed, My Kidney for a Bed?

I've Known for a long tome that we needed a new bed but last night was the final Straw. I am sleeping in a hole the size of the Grand Canyon and Debbies side of the bed is just one big mass of lumps. The only comfortable spot is right in the middle of the mattress.

I am so desperate for a new Bed that last night I had a dream that It became legal to sell one of your Kidneys for profit, so I put one of mine on the market, and as luck would have it I was able to sell one of my kidneys for quite a handsome some of money. More than enough to buy a great bed. The only Problem is , I am related to "Murphy" You know, The Guy whos law says that if something can go wrong it will go wrong, Yep you guessed it. My other Kidney shut down. I guess I'll put a piece of plywood under the mattress and use it a while longer.

There is no Gravity, Earth Sucks.

Today has been just one of those days. I'm an asshole, I must be an asshole cause my wife says I'm an asshole. Not only has it been one of those days that she doesn't feel well its been one of those days when I really don't care, I mean I do care I'm just tired of caring. One of the cats is sick and wont eat and I can't figure out what is wrong with him and I can't afford to take him to the vet at this time so I just have to hope he gets better. My Brother in-law is convinced wrestling is real and that really bugs me, I know it shouldn't but it does. Every car that pulls in the complex is playing really loud Rap music, hell everything is getting on my last nerve today, Am I an asshole because I am tired of hearing about and dealing with someone Else's Problems? I just need a break and I don't know how to get one without feeling guilty. Another thing that is bothering me is when I get like this I smoke.

"Hollow Hedge"

Hollow Hedge was a secret place, an invisible place. It was located in a field along a sound barrier wall than ran beside interstate 80. Hollow Hedge was the summer campsite of my friend "Ocean" He created it by hollowing out the large hedge that grew beside the sound wall and lining it on the inside with black plastic tarping, this made it virtually invisible. Every so often the police would sweep the area of homeless camps and remove the cardboard boxes and the shopping carts and what have you, but they failed to locate "Hollow Hedge" Like I said before, he was "the" most resourceful person I have ever known. Inside Hollow Hedge he had his bedroll, his personal belongings as well as a small library of books and a battery operated TV with headphones and a radio, basically all the comforts of home. When I say it was invisible I mean you could be standing 5 feet away and never know it was there.

Tides In...

I referred in an earlier Post to my best friend named "Ocean" I put his name In quotes because of the way he always signed his notes that he would leave if he came to visit and we weren't at home. Actually the note would simply consist of an "X". That would mean that "Ocean" had been there. It was sort of his "Zorro" Mark, He would leave it in motel rooms, on street signs, bathroom walls, every where he went. To this day If I look hard enough I can still find these "X"s around town, On street light post, on stop signs and etched in the mirrors of certain motel rooms. When ever he would come to visit who ever answered the door would exclaim "Tides In" That meant that "Ocean was at the door. Born and raised in San Francisco's Haight Ashbury district he was what some would call a hippy or "Street Person". In all the years I knew him he never really had a place of residence., But when asked if he was homeless he would reply "I'm not homeless, I live in Fairfield". I was told that he never went beyond the 7th or 8th grade but despite this fact he was one of the most intelligent and resourceful people I had ever known. He could fix just about anything using the most off the wall methods and substitute parts you could imagine,but it always worked. He always carried Duct Tape and super glue wherever he went and if some one needed something like a certain fuse or a certain type screw or bolt or what ever there was a good chance that he had it on his truck that we called the "The Dinosaur" More about that later. He was also quite a musician and played Bass fiddle and some saxophone. He had a 1949 Epiphone stand up Bass and could play it like nobodys business. Unfortunately He kept it at a friends house and there was a fire and well you can guess the rest. There is a lot more to tell about this unique individual but I will leave it here for now.



To be continued.....

Happy Fathers Day

Just want to take this opportunity to wish all the dads out there a happy Fathers Day.

The Adventure Fizzles Out....

Yesterday I attempted to write about an adventure I had in the summer of 1979 but I am finding it hard to do because of all the distractions going on around me, that and I am a crappy writer. It is a shame because there is so much to tell, Like two guys being in charge of an entire beach with tons of girls all vying for a free pass to the concert, or how Doug Kershaws Bus got stuck in the sand , or how I kind of saved the day by diving on and rolling up in a piece of canvas that had came loose in the wind and was threatening to knock a band member From the stage. One thing in particular that I will always remember is on the night before the concert which was a two day event, There was a crowd of locals gathered by the south gate to Johnson's beach. While Steve was making Rounds along the fence line I was standing by the gate making conversation with some of the locals. at one point I decided that I just might take a hit Of LSD that had been givin to me by one of the girls I mentioned I assume as a bribe trying to get a pass or something. It was a very small hit of purple barrel. As I pulled it from my pocket it fell onto the blacktop drive way. There was no moon and even with a flash light I could not see it because of its size and color. All of a sudden I here a voice exclaim "There it is" I looked over to see this guy with a what I call a flat brimmed hobo hat holding up his hand with something between his fingers, I said, " Man if you could see that in this light you deserve to keep it"This incident has special significance as this person would re-enter my life some 5 years later purely by coincidence. His name was "Ocean" and he became my very best friend in the world. Debbie and I met In 1980 and Married in 81 and moved to Fairfield where In 1984 We met a guy by The Name of Jim D. We hosted a small party at our apartment and invited him and he brought a friend. As I was telling them the story of the country music festival and I got to the part about the guy who found the LSD his friend Ocean exclaimed "OH MY GOD" I knew you looked familiar. He was the same guy that I had met ever so briefly on that dark moonless night 5 years earlier nearly 100 miles away on Johnson's Beach. We remained very close till he sadly passed away in early 2000. I will try and write more about the time I spent in Guerneville sometime in the future.



To my Friend "Ocean" wherever you are.

GOD SAVE A WAVE....

The Adventure Begins

I am starting to realize that this Blog has been very beneficial to my memory.
I was thinking last night about The summer of 1979(?). I was out of work at the time and my old lady had left me, took my daughter and moved to Washington State. I had a Oldsmobile Vista cruiser station wagon that I was living in at the time and my Friend Steve suggested that we pack it up and head for the Russian river area for the summer. We each had about $20 and a few food stamps and figured we would be able to pick up some odd jobs in the area since it was summer time and the river area would be teaming with tourism. By the time we reached Guerneville, a small tourist town on the Russian river in Sonoma county we had about $7.50 left between us. We had been camping out for about a week or so and by this time we both were in desperate need of a bath and clean clothes so we flipped a coin to see if we should do laundry or eat.
Heads we would eat and tails we would do laundry. Steve flipped a coin and tails it was. We pulled in to the local laundromat and while we were washing clothes I noticed a bullitin board. Among the cars for sale and the vacation rentals and canoe trips I spotted a small piece of paper that read"Day Laborer needed" It said to inquire with Rosie at the Guerneville chamber of commerce. We finished washing our clothes, Packed them back in the car an headed into town. We found a parking place near Johnson's beach in downtown Guerneville and asked a local resident where the chamber of commerce was located, they kindly pointed us in the right direction and we started off on a walk that would change my summer and the next two years of my life.

Rosie was the nice lady who worked as a secretary in the chamber of commerce. We told her that we were there in response to the add that was posted in the laundromat. She comfirmed that she did have one job available at the time and that it involved some heavey duty yard work that consisted of clearing a small field of weeds. Now Since there were two of us we figured that if we both worked at it we would get it done in half the time , but when we arrived and found that the "weeds" were in fact "Thistles" Steve said no way was he going to get cut up for $3.50 an hour. But knowing we needed the money I accepted the Job. Steve said he would go back to town and look for something else. I worked for about 6-7 hours and finished the job and the owner of the property said that I did such a good job that he was going to give me an extra $10, I think he just felt sorry for me because of our situation. Any way I returned to the chamber office to find Steve relaxing of the bench in font of the office with a big smile on his face."We both have jobs starting tomorrow at 6 am." It turns out that while I was busting my ass in a field of thistle Steve had managed some how to meet up with the owner of the local hardware store who was also in charge of the building of a huge stage on Johnson's Beach for the upcoming Country music festival. The pay was $7 an hour which for 1979 was really good money. and so began an adventure that I feel very fortunate to have been a part of.

To Be Continued.

It's in the triple digits today and the AC isn't working very well. I expect it to be about 104 by 5 pm. I was looking through my old guitar case last night and came across a song that I wrote for my daughter on her first Birthday.I had forgotten all about it. Her mother and I had split up and they moved 800 miles away to the state of Washington. She has never heard it and since we don't have much of a relationship I really don't think she ever will, But I thought I would post it here just fror the hell of it. May be some day she will stumble upon this blog and read it.



When it's snowing outside

and your in the house

with your warm pajamas on

your mamas in the kitchen fixin dinner for you

and all your companys gone

theres a fire roarin in the fireplace and

your playing with your toys

listen to this song your daddy wrote

it will tell of my joy



At 2:43 they handed to me

such a beautiful little girl

your eyes were so blue

baby I'm tellin you

my heart was set in a whirl

I held you close and

I felt you breath and

I thank the Lord above

For giving me such a beautiful little girl.



Written for Tyann November 19, 1979

August and Everything After.....

I have been corresponding lately with a guy that I met through commenting on his blog. Of all The Blogs out there what are the chances that I would stumble upon some one that I have so much in common with. The sad thing is that the things we have in common, at least the main thing is that our wives are in really poor health. I seems as if my entire life is devoted to taking care of her problems while at the same time ignoring my own health. With all the things I have to deal with it is occurring to me that my problems are minuscule in comparison to those of my new friend's. There are nights when I cannot fall asleep because I am anticipating My wife's next complaint. But then I realize that at least she is here and not in the hospital. The last time she was in the hospital I feared she may not return home, she had a severe case of Pneumonia. This is particularly dangerous for someone with her condition. Her aunt had a severe case and ended up in a nursing home where she languished for several years before finally passing away last month. My new Friends wife seems to be in the hospital more often than she is home. I can imagine what that must be like and how you can probably become numb to it.

But I'm not going to break
And I'm not going to worry about it anymore
I'm not going to bend, and i'm not going to break and
I'm not going to worry about it anymore
It seems like I should say, "As long as this is Love..."
But it's not all that easy so maybe I should
snap her up in a butterfly net
pin her down on a photograph album
I am not worried I've done this sort of thing before
But then I start to think about the consequences
because I don't get no sleep in a quite room and....

This time when kindness falls like rain
it washes me away and
Anna begins to change
my mind
And every time she
sneezes I believe it's
Love and
Oh Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing

She's talking in her sleep It's keeping me awake
and Anna begins to toss and turn
and every word is nonsense but I understand and
Oh Lord, I'm not ready for this sort of thing.

"Anna Begins" .....Words by Adam Duritz.

To my new Friend. Hang In there.

Bumpin and Barbacueing

Well its been another night of very little sleep for me. Last night I was able to fall asleep fairly quickly. At first I didn't know what woke me up around 12:45. I just remember hearing my heart beat very heavily. Then when I was more awake I realized it wasn't my heart at all . It was a group of about 12-15 teenagers
dancing and gyrating to the beat of some dreadful so called music coming from a car parked no more than 30 feet from my bedroom window. The same loud major bass note pounding over and over and over again. The vibration was enough to make my bedroom window virate and rattle. It is beyond me how some young people today can have so little respect for others that they would do something like that at that time of the night in that location knowing that there are people sleeping such a short distance away. It is not just at night either that these loud car stereos are a problem. It seems to have became a competition to see who can "BUMP" the loudest as they pull into the complex, Or as they leave. It seems to be never ending. Our local laws have a noise pollution ordinance but the Police are reluctant to inforce it. I honestly believe that this is because most of the offenders are minorities and the dont want to be acused of racism. The manager of our complex told me to my face that that is the reason she is having a hard time doing anything about the teens who hang out in the parking lot at night, The corporate lawers have advised her that they may be acused of racism because most of the teens involved are minorities.
and unless she can prove that the are dealing drugs or what ever, there isn't much she can do. What the hell does that mean? If they were Caucasian then she could do something? Hummm, sounds like racism to me. No I am not a racist, I just think the rules should apply to everyone. For example. When we moved here we were told that the complex does not allow BBQing because of past fire damage. Get this, The manager is hispanic and guess which tenants get away with BBQing over and over again. My neighbors who were a very nice Black family BBQed one time and were givin a 30 day notice to get rid of the BBQ pit or face eviction. Hummm sounds like racism to me.

Cats And Dogs

I have had plenty of Cats in my life time but for the past 14 years we have had Dogs. We lost our beloved Huckleberry a few years ago , he past away at the age of 14. The poor old guy had arthritis so bad and was having seizures regularly. Then last September we lost our little guy "Cody" to cancer, we had had him for at least 13 years. I told my self that we were not going to get another dog because I didn't want to get attached to another pet that was eventually going to die, so I suggested that we get a couple of Cats thinking that I wont get attached. WRONG! Winston and Salem are only about 5 1/2 months old and I am already attached to them. I now know what the major difference is between Cats and Dogs. A dog will look at you and think to itself " Hey, You give me food and shelter, YOU must be a God". A cat on the other hand will look at you and think to itself " Hey, you give me food and shelter , "I" must be a God."

Longing for the Good old Days

I've been sitting here listening to John Denver music and thinking what a loss it was to the music world when he died. I can think of only a couple of artists that touch me as spiritually and as emotionally as he does. I guess the other one would be Cat Stevens. I can listen to their music for hours on end and never tire of it.

Some of my favorite memories are those of playing this music when I was in my late teens and early twenties. My girlfriend at the time was a very talented singer and piano player named Nannette. My best recollections are of a small pizza and beer restaurant called "Apple Jacks".

Friday and Saturday nights were open mike and a lot of local musicians would come and entertain. I particularly enjoyed this place because the audiences were mostly musicians and people that were involved in local theatre, I think they make the best audience to perform for. When I listen to songs Like "Sunshine on My Shoulder"
or "Poems Prayers And Promises" I can still hear Nannette's Harmonies,(Such a beautiful voice)I truly loved to sing with her. Oh if we could only go back. I often wonder what ever became of her. We lost touch many years ago.

Every so often a group of us would pack up the acoustic guitars and a couple of bongos or congas and hike to the top of Mt. Veeder and climb to the top of a place called saddle rock. We would sit and drink wine and play all day long as we looked out over the beautiful Napa Valley. I really wish one of us had thought to take a camera along, but then again we were just living in the moment I guess.