I don't know who I am any more. I wonder where the remnants of who I used to be are. Well, let me put it this way. I have become some one other than who I was. I have become Debbie's Husband and care giver. I have become the person who cooks and cleans and shops for her and her Brother and the guy who picks up Danny on the week ends and Changes his adult diapers. I wasn't always just this. I have lost a sense of who "I" am. I can no longer write music like I used to. I am not half he guitar player that I used to be. I have no outside interests or hobbies other than this blog. I wasn't always just "THIS" I used to be paid for my music, I was(for a while) a local radio personality. I was an actor, a part time cameraman and Technical director at our college TV station, I had a lot of friends. I was much more than what I now see when I look in the mirror. The following verse probably describes how I am feeling at this moment. Do I sound selfish? I hope not.
Mama Mama Mama, why am I so alone?
I can't go outside I'm scared I might not make it home,
I'm alive, I'm alive, But I'm sinking in,
if there's anyone home at your place
why don't you invite me in,
don't try to bleed me,
I've been there before and I deserve a little more.
( From "Rain King" By Adam Duritz)
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